I got a really wild email last week.
The owner of my talent agency informed us that one of the agents in the company is leaving. A perfectly normal email topic, but wild because it was a complete shock to me and many others. You just get used to people being woven into the fabric of your life. You know who the stitches are holding up said fabric and you just don’t think about them being gone. But here we are, stitches being ripped out and to top it off, the agent that’s leaving was the ripper. We’ve worked together for 15 years. Over half of my career.
Often times change happens to us. We get a phone call, email or have a meeting and there goes our job, a relative or a relationship. It’s far less common that we are the instagators of pure change. Change for change’s sake; not because of another event.
Do you know why?
We rarely instigate change because it’s difficult to suspend doubt for ourselves. It’s far easier to do it for another person. If you’re a personal friend of mine, you know that I will cheer for you as the day is long and beyond. Mustering up the same encouragement for myself is not so easy. Dang.
The things that bind us to stay the same are the “what ifs.” Not knowing what will happen. Control. We think that we have control in the steadiness of a regular job or the familiarity of a long-term relationship. Illusions, baby. When it comes to change, it’s like we all want to be Sylvia Brown, John Edwards or Miss Cleo and suss out ahead of time what will happen if we push the first domino.
Speaking of Miss Cleo (some amazing marketing there!), we really don’t need her or the others. Our instincts tell us quite a bit. However, we tend to not trust our inner voice, whether it’s in our head or twisting in our gut. It’s a struggle to listen, let alone truly pay attention.
I went in-person to say goodbye to my agent. As soon as I opened the office door, tears welled up for the 4th or 5th time that morning. I’m happy for her to be moving forward. I was excited the moment I found out. Impressed when I found out that she simply chose to take a turn when there was no curve in the road.
Change can be uncomfortable. Painful. Somehow I find comfort in the fact that things always change. It’s a constant that we can rely on.
Here’s the frog in boiling water analogy. I’ve heard it before, but I don’t recall hearing the part about the frog not being able to decide when to jump out. I’ve only heard it told as the frog is unaware of the change because it’s so gradual, plus s/he is adapting body tempature. I’ve never heard it told like this. The last two lines really stood out to me.
Put a frog into a vessel fill with water and start heating the water. As the temperature of the water begins to rise, the frog adjust its body temperature accordingly. The frog keeps adjusting its body temperature with the increasing temperature of the water. Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog cannot adjust anymore. At this point the frog decides to jump out. The frog tries to jump but it is unable to do so because it has lost all its strength in adjusting with the rising water temperature. Very soon the frog dies.
What killed the frog?
Think about it!
I know many of us will say the boiling water. But the truth about what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when to jump out.
We all need to adjust with people & situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust & when we need to move on. There are times when we need to face the situation and take appropriate actions.
If we allow people to exploit us physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually or mentally they will continue to do so.
Let us decide when to jump!
Let’s jump while we still have the strength.
p.s. My best friend shared this with me from a Facebook post on Belle Bickham’s page (don’t know her).