I love it when I see new blogs. Especially the blogs that start out with a specific goal — in this blog I am going to share my daily outfits in an effort to be more accountable in my spending. That’s just a random example and not thinking of anyone specific. I’ve seen a number of these beginnings. After time, the blog takes a turn, and the author cannot help but chuck in all sorts of other topics. Births, marriages, deaths. Daily life stress, happiness. Life finds its way into the blog. Also in our blogs are thoughts we don’t share out loud, in our non-cyber lives. A recurring theme for fashion bloggers is what we wear compared to people in our ‘real’ lives. Many people just don’t get it, try to make fun or make us feel bad for being ‘overdressed.’ We find comfort online in each other’s comments and support. And because we probably spend an inordinate amount of time on all sorts of fashion blogs, there is a natural tendency to compare ourselves to others online as well. Cue more deep thoughts. Still fashion related, but dipping deeper.
There is a natural tendency to compare ourselves to others, in general. We take cues from one another on how to dress, behave, conduct ourselves, etc… I think it’s fine in many cases because it’s how we learn. When I was pregnant last year, I watched many moms with their infants to see how they handled the baby, their diaper bag, how their stroller functioned, etc… I admit I recently bought the Snap ‘n’ Go stroller frame because I kept seeing parents with it, plus I liked the cupholders. I do a lot of bumping of corners w/my current stroller system and the velcro cupholder thing I added awhile back does not hold a beverage like I thought it would. I thought the Snap ‘n’ Go would make me feel more together. More parent-y, but it sat in the box. I kept thinking about it and didn’t feel inspired to open it. When I saw a dad out with the same stroller as ours and the way he used it, I remembered why we purchased the carseat package the way we did. I finally returned the Snap ‘n’ Go unopened. Oh…I have a point. Let me try to get to it.
So yesterday I was online and I saw this pretty silk Eliska dress by Ivanka Trump. I like her brand, the shoes, the materials…most have leather soles, btw. I was very curious to try the dress as I’ve never seen any of her apparel. I’ve been slow, but I’m realizing/accepting that my post-maternity figure does not match what I see in my head. I also realize I am not getting into a consistent exercise routine to bring the two any closer so I did not order the dress. At the present time it’s not going to hang the way I see it in my head. I will be honest that if free shipping was in play, I probably would’ve just gone for it. There was a % off code, but I still didn’t want to lose on the shipping & pay a return if it didn’t work out. So I actually took a moment to think about it. My sister & cousin were right when they said I would retain my personal style. I still wear silk and wool and don’t worry too much if stuff gets on them. I just baby wipe it off. That said, I was doing dishes in my Old Navy popover & shorts and thought — I can’t do dishes in a silk dress. It makes the most sense to have a best-for-me version of things. I really, really like these Old Navy mixed print tunics (irl pics). It’s the same idea as the Ivanka dress, but they’re cotton and if I like, I can come home and right into the kitchen to do dishes without worrying about getting a water line across the front of it. Not that I want to step out of the car and into the kitchen, but ykwim. I want to look nice and feel good, but…I think the thing for me is I have been buying for lives that I want to be leading. Stylish Career Woman. I work, but in the area of work attire…less is almost always better. I.e. leave the arm party at home. Full suits are rarely required. I could probably do just fine with what was leftover if I cut my corporate work attire by 50%. Or how about Night On the Town Gal. I shopped a lot for her without a party in sight or even on the horizon. The last nite I went out was this past Friday for a Safeway run to complete our Cinco de Mayo food prep. Out at 9:30p, baby. I drove with the windows. down!
I’m not beating myself up. Just checking in on where I am with this. We are moving soon and it’s not easy to see all of the unworn clothing that I’ll be consigning and selling. It’s overwhelming and it’s very emotional if I process the volume of clothing I’ve amassed while I’m trying to organize it. I speak here often about whether an item gave me ‘the feeling’ or not. I just need to check in on whether I’m getting a feeling that accompanies a fantasy or a feeling that accompanies my daily life as it is now. Emphasis on now. I haven’t been entirely comfortable having style and a baby on my arm. I consider myself an independent person. I don’t like to look like everyone else, yet I do want to feel like I fit in. Whatever that means. Maybe I just don’t want to stick out? Sometimes I feel there is some mommy no-no that I’m not adhering to when I wear my regular, personal style. It’s very easy to give into what everyone else around us is doing. There was a sea of dark down vests and jeans all around me this past winter. Bolstered by the J Crew catalog and you JCAs, I wore bright color as often as I could. However, sometimes it’s really a matter of lens. Quite often I noticed mommy pairs or groups in workout attire and ball caps. Über casual-style mommies seemed to be everywhere until I looked for moms who are putting cute outfits together or wearing cute pieces. Some are doing it with a pair of snazzy shoes. Another with a pretty necklace. They’re everywhere if I choose to see it, hence my lens. I know *I* feel better if I like my outfit whether it’s casual or dressy. Sometimes I think I overthink all this stuff, but whatever the case, I know I’ll stay on this path. Of course with leather ballet flats or patent midheels over Choos or Lobouts.
So where are you with it today? Do you compare yourselves to bloggers you see online? Or things you read about their lives? Where are you with purchasing? Are you buying things because so-and-so wore it well or because it really spoke to you…?
Chime in…you know I read it all
* Definitely check out Ugly Duckling on a JC Shopping Habit. Always a good read over there.
* Erin compares her fashion experience in Tacoma vs Florida on Moms Have Style 2.
* Look for “comparison is a thief of joy” in Getting Rid of the Blah on Ashley Ann Photography.
* I mentioned this the other day, but it bears repeating. One of the most important posts you may ever read about getting dressed is on Fabulous Florida Mommy.
* And a quote from the audio version of Norman Vincent Peale’s Power of Positive Thinking (book link)
Do not be awestruck by other people or try to copy them. Remember that most people, despite a confident appearance, are often as scared and as doubtful of themselves as you are.