Can I get you some tea? This turned out to be a long one.
So what happened after my $300 meltdown? The jist is that I made my first purchase from Kate Spade and it was a final sale item. I know, first time purchase. Big ticket item for something that’s final sale. What can I say, I was cray cray. The blog disappearing was just the final straw in a couple of weeks that just weren’t going my way. Well, the faux pullover arrived and I like it quite a bit. I wish I could recap the conversation we had about it in my household. It began with laughter. Uh, not from me.
Size S – I first tried it on with nothing on under and it felt good. The weight is nice, not at all flimsy and it felt cozy, as I expected. It feels more like outwear than a top.The large roll neck makes my head look smaller, esp w/the wack! haircut I recently received. We are not trying to do Beetlejuice. So I put the perfect shirt in leoaprd (6) on under to frame my face & hair a bit. FYI, there is a Crewlet version, which I haven’t seen in-person, but just so you know. I don’t know that I would wear this top under or another button down, but I liked the idea of a top on under, so something fitted could work if not a button down. I felt it could also be worn alone. It doesn’t really make sense to have a heavy faux fur and exposed forearms, but in California we see heavy sweatshirts w/shorts & flip flops in cool weather. At least I did in school, so the opposites are a fashion ok in our climate. (beat) I guess.
I keep wearing my Old Navy maternity skinnies even though they don’t fit anymore. Perhaps the baggy waist gives me hope. *lol* Clearly this topper needs an arm party of bracelets. Hoop earrings would also be cute. I wish I had better photos, outdoor ones specifically, but this is what time permitted. Cut off heads can be boring, but this is how we’ve been rolling on the blog for 3.5 years now.
Let’s talk about construction. I think I was expecting horizontal pieces of fur sewn together, given the striped look it has. I think they just dyed the stripes onto the faux fur for some added texture. They did a really good job. One thing I didn’t expect was that it was shiny. I actually didn’t even notice it, but my in-house peanut gallery did. I asked if it looks like some activists might try to tag me with spray paint at Christmastime and the response? They might. I’ll take that as this topper might look real. I don’t have any knowledge about fur, so I can’t discuss whether it looks real or not. I just assume most people I run into are wearing faux fur. I think you can tell when a piece is real fur. I’ll remind you that this piece had an original retail of $850 or so. Too high a price to have an acetate lining. What do you think? It feels ok on, but the exterior told me it really wishes it were paired with a silk lining. The bow on the back is cute, of course. However, it’s grosgrain and matte. I wouldn’t say it feels cheap, exactly. I just believe a silk, black ribbon would’ve been a nicer touch. It arrived in a brown box, and was folded into a clear plastic bag. I didn’t expect it to be boxed & bowed within the box, but given their marketing presentation what I received came with zilch for fanfare. I assume this is because it was on the final sale promo. I’m going to guess that if it’s a regular purchase, the packaging has a little more branding on it. Oh…there was a little fanfare. They included a 20% off coupon inside for retail store use, so that was nice. Thanks, KS!
Dear 6pm and Zappos.
I’m pretty sure I could shoot better product shots than what you have going on. What gives. If you’re going to have the employees model the clothes, at least provide them with some Smashbox finishing powder to help that shine.
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To be perfectly candid, I’m going thru something right now w/myself and blogs haven’t been helping. I know that we only see and read what people choose to share. Our interpretations can largely be projections. I’ll tell you that my life certain isn’t tied in a neat bow. When I look at blogs, I sometimes come away feeling less adequate. Like I’m not doing enough in my life. Surely I can have a clean house, well cared for husband and baby, cook, work, blog, see family and friends, and diy wonderful crafty goodies for my home & to give as gifts. Right??? I know we can do everything, just not all at one time. I’m ok w/that, but I’m human and will admit that I sometimes allow myself to compare….knowing, I’m not seeing the whole picture whether it’s on a blog or irl. Usually I am really good about admiring what I see in others and mimicking what I like. I.e., hey it’s cool to pattern mix cuz I saw it on a real person and it works. I don’t like it when I stop feeling inspired and start feeling…I dunno. How I feel sometimes right now. Like I can’t quite get it together and I see all these other people who can. Again, I know what we see is what people choose to share.
About the top…I’m happy that I ordered it. One things that concerns me is wearability. My husband said he can see me wearing it maybe 3 times max. Over the course of what time period, I don’t know. He said it would be great for shopping in New York. Usually I’m the one w/the probably-not-gonna-happen-soon fantasies. For years I have purchased clothes for events that manifest in my head, but never irl. I mean years of doing this. Of course when events have come up, do you think those dresses are ever appropriate? Of course they rarely are *lol* Some of the clothes I’m able to work into my life and some just hang lifeless in the closet, tags still on. I heard Tim Gunn say on Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style, can you wear that on a Tuesday? That show was like 4, 5 years ago and I still remember the simple idea when he said it. Finally… I’m really, really trying to purchase things that I can literally wear tomorrow. Without factoring in worry that other moms will think I am ruining things by “dressing up.” That’s a new issue I’m trying to ignore. I just need to worry about whether I can push the stroller in it if it’s a Mini G day or whether it functions for work. Also, do I feel good in it? The key is that it needs to function tomorrow. Not function because it’s a great price. Or be purchased because it might sell out. I do need a rotating wardrobe, but a good number of the pieces aren’t usable on a regular basis. I think they have their place, but I don’t need more of them.
I’m back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but sometimes I just don’t feel good mentally. I’m confident that I don’t have post partum depression. I had baby blues for sure, but ppd, no. I’m certain that my crappy haircut is playing a role in my mental scape right now. Thankfully I bumped into someone whose hair I love, so now I don’t feel stuck to go back to the same guy because he’s pretty good — but how good is chopping my hair off despite the pictures I showed him? I’m not sure where the disconnect happened between the pictures and description of my needs. I’ve gone to that guy about 6x. I was feeling like I have to go back to him because he took so long to find, but I can choose to try the new referral if I wish. Choices are usually always good to have.
Ummm…back to the top. I feel pretty good in many of my clothes. Like the boy shirt in silk crepe de chine…the striped one feels so great and I love wearing it. But when I’ll catch a glimpse in the mirror and the person that’s in my head is not what I see. Body image is something that’s always present, I suppose, and I don’t mean a gift. But now I feel like my hands have aged overnite and they’re dry all the time. The skin on my face looks dull and sallow. I’m sure that’s from a lack of sleep and I can tell I’m dehydrated. As I type this, I realize that the fab pregnancy hormones are gone, so that’s a factor. Of course I previously knew they were gone because I lost a lot of hair. Although I’m convinced that some of that hair ‘loss’ is from not combing my hair for a day or two. Only running my fingers thru it. So when I took a brush or comb to it, out 3 days worth of hair that would’ve come out. *lol* Regarding physical fitness, but no one is responsible but myself. As with many of us, time and energy play a part in whether I work out or not. If I did the ole work out and eat right, we know what would happen. I’d lose weight and feel great, mentally. Being small, I don’t have that far to go, scale wise. A 13 lb loss would be 10% of my body weight. I am trying to be kind to myself because that’s what I would tell someone else. Sure, I get a break for just having a baby 6 mo ago, but there are a few reasons I really need to get things in gear. Man, I am not talking about the Kate Spade top, am I? But I am, because I find that when I don’t feel so great about myself, I don’t wear certain things. I postpone wearing them. Waiting to look like what I feel is my absolute best.
I am all over the place. I always have Let’s Talk posts brewing in my mind and just have not put any up. This probably covers a few things that have floated thru my mind in recent months. Do you feel influenced by (your perception of) bloggers’ lives? Or perhaps you get out the meter stick to compare when thinking of someone in ‘your real life’? Are you considered ‘dressed up’ by your family, co-workers, peers, other moms…your significant other? If so, do their voices flash in your mind when you’re choosing your clothing? Do you dress to blend into your work or personal life or do you just wear whatever you feel like wearing? Esp those of you that love J Crew and are inspired by their catalogs and ruffles, sequins, lace, prints, brights, etc…
Or whatever else you want to talk about…
♥
ETA: See also…Shop With M’s show me the mess post.
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p.s. For the record, yes I’m totally aware there is a world of issues going on. Just remember you’re not visiting a news site. It’s a fashion blog.
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Did you see A-P style your Kate Spade pullover? http://atlantic-pacific.blogspot.com/2012/03/studs-simplicity.html
I'm back at pre-preg weight but things on my body are definitely not where they used to be. Bbs bigger which I think most women would appreciate but I kind of hate. Button downs keep gaping and my changed proportions just make me hyper-conscious. The tummy flab I've had since entering my late 20s is even bigger and now marked up with an ungodly amount of silver lines (I will be one of those t-shirt wearing Moms at the beach / pool forEVAH). Vanity sizing at stores means I get to mostly wear my normal size but H&M snaps me back to reality with having to size up. Baby E is starting solids and naturally cutting back a bit on breastfeeding which is leading to some awesome-feeling knots / blockages. Hoping those pass soon. My thinned out hair is now almost perpetually in a bun which helps me avoid the yanking that Baby E enjoys. Maybe put your hair up so you don't have to think about the haircut?
I was hoping to cheer you up but I probably just brought you down. At least we can commiserate together?
SPG – Yes, I saw her and she looks awesome in it. I saw her pics after I purchased it and I have to say I tried to lower my expectations of how I'd look it. Again, shouldn't compare, but that's the space I've been in. I think it's normal. It's natural to check ourselves against others, to gauge how we're doing. I just know that if I am feeling bad after checking then I'm not doing it in a healthy way.
Good idea, but the guy cut too much hair off. There is nothing to put up! *lol*
I think you're looking great!!! We definitely are too hard ourselves. I totally thought you are looking good and bounding back, based on your pics. I know you've been adjusting to a different body in some ways, but I'm surprised to hear the inner workings. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Gracious! Let's talk girlfriend. First, I don't know if that top is practical for you or not but you look fabulous from what I can tell from the pics. I want one now bad but I know they're all gone. Next, though I haven't just had a baby and have all the things going on in your life, I too am experiencing much of what you said. The blogging thing is just as I feared … will it become a burden, will I get competitive (even with myself, this post is not getting as much reaction as the last one, etc., let alone how can she make such interesting/funny/well done posts with kids and work and home cooking and everything neat and orderly in her life when I can barely get myself dressed to go out the door in the mornings?). And LOL, not only do I get dressed for my co-workers (gotta keep up that you look so cute today expectation), I am somewhat dressing for my blog audience too (even if it's only a few who come by). I could go on and on but I don't want to take up all your space. And if I may share some advice I intend to take for myself, take a 10 minute (not power) walk most days (5 minutes from the door and turn back) and schedule 5 minutes each day to sit or lay down and just focus on taking smooth, slow breaths. That has to benefit and it sounds pretty easy, doesn't it? Hang in there … one step at a time. 🙂
tiffany rose – Thanks for responding. You didn't take up too much space at all. I love reading what everyone has to say and it never feels long to me. A 10 min walk sounds so doable. I know how much better I feel when I snag 10 min to sit and do a guided meditation. If I'm feeling low I usually lack the energy and I think tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow… The trick is to just do it because I know what the end result will bring. So thanks for that. I will try to keep the benefits in mind, not the task of getting my body moving.
Oh I'd bet I practice that Gone with the Wind quote better than you lol! There is (most likely) always tomorrow but the important thing is consistency. Much better to do 5 or 10 minutes 4 or 5 days a week than 30 minutes once a week. That's the secret, commit to something so very doable that you think, that's too easy. Make it so it's nearly impossible to fail, start with 5. And once a month-ish if you can, get a facial even if it's putting on a moisturizing mask at home. Don't you always think, when I wash that mask off, my skin is going to be gorgeous! 😉
Gigi! I think you are doing awesome for 6 months out. It's so hard on the body, I remember the hair loss, the dry skin (for me I had to change up all of my products after my 3rd baby, my skin went from normal to dry/sensitive, I "have to" have facials every 3 mths now too).
I get you and we all have body image problems. I agree your haircut is probably bumming you out majorly, go to the new referral. That alone would send me round the bend.
Funny I had the issue of "dressing up" compared to other Moms just the other night, and it involved the KS faux fur pullover! I wore it to a surprise bday party for another Mom, walked in the place, was faced with 8 women (only knew 3) who were ALL wearing jeans, a top, and fleece jackets. Embarrassing!
Most of my friends know I dress up and it's my thing. I occasionally get the "oh do we have to be fancy" and I always say Wear What you Want Girls, I Will Be. So that has solved it for the most part.
I am influenced by other bloggers for sure, but it is good to remember that what is shared are the very best bits, little snapshots of the prettiest things, the fun times, the clean cupboards. Of course, because who wants to read about misery in our blog life? We can watch the news for that. I have been sucked into buying things I should NOT have because I have viewed it on another blogger, I'm trying to be better about that.
I know how tired you are. I myself have been feeling like a bag of dirt all this week. I force myself to exercise, 20 minutes, it makes all the difference. Also good food and vitamins, pregnancy is killer on your iron stores as I'm sure you know.
I am rooting for you Gigi. I've been reading your blog for 3 years and you are one of my favorites and bests.
Oh and yes the KS fur is very shiny. I am worried about getting paint thrown on it as well! I hope people do realize it's fake!
Somehow I cannot picture Dani as a bag of dirt. 🙂
That's usually me — I'm almost always overdressed for everything, lol. But I think ppl have come to expect it of me, so I just have a laugh and get a drink, ha!
Gigi, I visit your blog regularly, and I know we frequent many of the same blogs. If I were to consider all of these sites collectively, I'd have to say that I find yours particularly refreshing largely because you show what's behind the curtain. Plus, you're a laugh riot. And that counts for a lot.
These things, too, shall pass.
Ditto from me. I LOVE reading your blog. You give us a better picture of a real life (even with a cut off head) which helps me keep blog things in perspective. For example, STRIPES are NOT, in fact, the be all end all.
Oh Gigi, I think the KX fur looks fabulous on you! I think it is a great purchase.
I am not sure if I am too dressed up for some of my other friends, I know I have different groups of friends, some love clothes, some don't see the point of dressing up, but in all, I think I try to wear something I feel comfortable in and I tend not to think too much about it. As long as I am happy, I am fine. That said, I probably wouldn't wear a ball gown to a brunch, but sometimes dressing up really makes me feel better and I do not get too do it often while at work. I work in a lab and I cannot wear any of my cute clothes because I am afraid they will get ruined.
Now, I think you look fabulous and have done an amazing job keeping up with everything. Taking care of Mini G, having a great blog, losing the weight, etc, you are killing it girl! I know some of my friends who are moms have said that the first year was the hardest and that body image is a big issue. Not so much because of the weight, but you are tired and busy and there are no enough hours in the day. But I know it gets better. I agree with Tiffany Rose, start with a walk, it's not only about the physical fitness aspect of it, it's about time for YOU. I go sometimes on walks around the city or the parks around work and it's the best thing, I get some much energy and it's nice to be alone with my thoughts once in a while. Totally recommend it. I also recommend some healthy snacks, they make all the difference in the world. I know I always post about delicious food in my blog, but I don't eat like that all the time. I like to keep it balance and the key thing for me is to eat healthy snacks, they provide you with energy and you don't feel bad about eating them. And it's so easy to do and the rewards are great.
Keep up the great work lady, I am here for you!
XO
Hey there, Gigi,
I am daily reader, infrequent commenter! I believe that baby's first birthday parties are ACTUALLY Parent Parties: celebrating the fact you survived, persevered, and thrived. And baby, too! I had twins at 42 and I thought my hands would fall off from dryness: every two minutes there was a reason to wash them! I though pleated front chinos were my big go-back-to-work fashion trick! Ha ha! Seriously, the first year is survival! And you are doing SO MUCH more than that! You are engaged in the world, funny, snappy, and present! We are all so fortunate to have you still making us laugh, letting us know how the Jcrewlade is tasting these days, and giving us peeks into life with Mini G and G Money. Take care of yourself and remember "this too shall pass" in all of its meanings. My eldest leaves for college in a couple months and while I would never say how quickly that time passed, it did pass and here we are, alive and well and better-rested than in the early days! Maggie May
Oh Gigi. Wear that top on Tuesday. You look fabulous in it. I completely understand what you're talking about when you reference getting out the old measuring stick. I say to Mr. M, "We should go out to dinner/brunch/lunch more" because I feel like so many blog or tweet about awesome, relaxed "dates". But he always brings me back to reality reminding me know is photographing or blogging about their cheerios eaten while sitting on the sofa. And he's right. You're right. We always like to put our best foot forward but as a reader, I need to remind myself we are ALL human and have hills and valleys in our lives. I guess what I'm trying to say is you sound like you are doing an amazing job finding balance in your life. The most important thing at the end of the day is that when you go to bed, everyone is healthy.
Love your purchase. Loved it on Blair on Atlantic-Pacific and you too. Allow me to give you a different perspective on what you are going through now. I am not 20, a size 4, white, married, or have children. Love your life, I learned to and you need to realize, recognize, and acknowledge that you just gave birth and are going to be O.K! Who cares about these other chicks, you Rock and are holding it all down. Trust and believe that we all have craziness behind our fashionista photos, even Blair!!! None of us have perfect lives, no matter what you see posted! Most people live simultaneously in chaos and the mundane. We all strive for something in between. Most of us are in an a long-term, abusive relationship with Bill…..mortgage, car note, etc., as my late grandmother would say. Lol. Everyone wishes for things we do not have, without true appreciation for what we do have…health, crazy family members, food, clean water,fabulous clothes, shelter, intellect, safety…. Half of the chics we envy are gifted ridiculously priced items that they are soliciting for commission or are married to wealthy husbands, i.e. ladies who lunch and pretend to relate to career women, hence the Martha Stewart crew. Do not be fooled. Give yourself a break, chill! Then go make your family a fun family dinner like tacos and take pictures of your messy kitchen and your loving and probably dysfunctional family! Count your blessings and go to church to give thanks to JC. And stop sweating the small stuff.
Styleropa
http://stylerop.blogspot.com
Gigi, take it from an older mom (my kids are grown),you are doing just fine. A baby is a HUGE change in your life, physically and emotionally. And your little one is only six months old. Be good to yourself.
And you look fabulous in that fur!
Oh Gigi, thank you for putting up this post it feels so candid and genuine, I am sure a lot of readers can identify with your feelings. Having a baby is a hard job Gigi, and I think it is always in a way we don't expect. what we expect we prepare for and then it is not that hard.
I am not sure from your post where do you feel inadequate. Is it style, or body image? Or feeling that you are not doing as much as others seem to? Or both?
Many people commented on my blog that they are impressed with me having family/blog/full time job. But the funny thing is I always feel like I am lazy and not doing enough, not working hard enough, not spending enough time with my daughters, being a b*tch to my husband etc.
Maybe this is how we always feel. Maybe this is OK, maybe it pushes as forward and maybe there is no place where we will feel at peace with ourselves all the time. Maybe it is only after we die.
As far as shopping don't kill yourself over it. The KS pullover looks fabulous on you girl. If you only wear it three times, so be it. It will always be there for you. This is how I feel about my snakeskin pumps.
Ann maybe it was a total mistake. Maybe you don't really like it. Maybe you will never feel like it is a right time to wear. This is OK too, you can sell it on ebay. No big deal. Think about one thing that bothers you. Just one. Try to address it.
Are you frustrated that others think you are overdressed? How important is it to you what those mothers think? More important than your love of cute skirts and dresses? Maybe it is. Maybe you'd rather feel that you belong.
Then get yourself best pair of jeans you can find even if they are $200. Get few really cute t-shirts. You can always get away with nice shoes and purse, they won't notice as much.
But maybe you don't care that much what they think. Maybe it would kill you to give the fashion part up. Then say to yourself: 'I am OK that they are a little uncomfortable. They will get used to it. They don't have to love me. My husband loves me.'
Btw, this is what happened to me. Where I live, woman don't work full time. They have 3-4 kids and husbands that make a lot of money. They get together after morning drop off. I work full time and I speak with an accent. I went out with them and I tried to be a part of a group. They were polite but they didn't give a damn about what I was saying. I was not one of them.
It did bother me. I had this idea of my daughter growing up being friends with all the kids in the neighborhood, while I sip coffee on somebody's deck chatting with other women. I had to let go of this fantasy. I was not going to bend over backwards to somehow make them accept me. It was not that important to me.
People at work are another story. The way I dress is not standing out. It is probably on the dressy side but not too much, although I wear more skirts than most. But on Fridays I am always in jeans and t-shirt. I would gladly wear a skirt but I compromise. It is more important to me that they feel like I am part of the team than to I dress the way I like every day of the week. I blend in even if I probably have the most expensive pair of jeans on. But nobody knows. The ones that know probably don't mind, ykwim?
You can figure it out Gigi. Just step away from the whole picture. You are doing great being a new mom and all. Anyway, being totally satisfied is overrated.
And you know what? Ditch that hair stylist. Hair is your most important fashion accessory. And nobody will point you out for having a great haircut.
Love,
Anita
Aaahhhh, this is me too — surrounded in my nice little neighborhood by ladies who lunch and don't work, who have time to work out and get their nails and hair done and have cleaning ladies so they don't have to touch a speck of dust. I'm totally the odd bird out. Can't make their midday playdates, my son's not in their kids' daytime swim lessons, etc., all because I have to work (what a drag).
I have tried to fit in, but it wasn't easy. We have so little in common. Honestly, this is the only time in my life where I have been utterly rejected by a group for basically no reason, and it puzzles me. It still stings sometimes when I see them all partying together on weekends and having backyard boozing parties, but then I remind myself that they're shallow and I'm better off without them.
Hey, girl. THANK YOU! I needed to read this, a lot! I don't necessarily think when I read blogs that I am not doing something I should be, BUT I do really feel the sorrow of not being pretty enough or thin enough (and this goes beyond being 38 weeks pregnant, I felt this way at my lowest weight, too). I figure everyone suffers from clutter on their shelves, dirty dishes in the sink, and crazy children who aren't perfect little angels all the time (if the blogger has kids), BUT those oh so pert little tiny thighs and prominent collarbones and pretty unlined skin that is dewy, radiant, and perfectly made up? Yeah, gets me every time. Le sigh. 😉
I was recently admonished (as you know from the e-mail correspondence we had) for many things, INCLUDING pretending to have a perfect life, but the ladies (hesitate to call them that) were LOL-ing over my clutter on my counters (saying, well, if she stepped away from buying clothes maybe she would have time to clean–ugh) and the fact that my son was not a perfect little angel (this one hurt the most).
I found it odd that they thought I presented myself as perfect. I thought I took VERY overt steps to avoid presenting that, but they perceived it, which did concern me. Since then I have made the decision to approach my blog with a bit more of "me" as much as "me" can be "me" in this kind of forum.
FWIW, you are an inspiration to me and have been since day one (but I have a feeling you already know that). I guarantee there are at least a hundred other ladies who agree with me, but don't comment. 🙂
I get it, though, I do. Chin up…and btw, the tea tasted WONDERFUL!!!
Also, I want to mention that you will know what to do re: adorable KS faux fur popover. It does look so cute on you, but it is ultimately YOUR choice!!! You'll know. 😉
Dina – you will find the right group of moms and friends. I was a full time working mom when most of my friends stayed home. There were some years when my kids were little that I felt very lonely. But now that they are 13 and 16, and I am in my mid-40s, over the years I have developed a close knit group of friends who I wouldn't trade for anything. They love what I wear, they support my full time work, and they are just awesome friends. You will figure that out as life goes on.
OMG Dina, people can be so rude. Who are these trolls saying these awful things about you? What is wrong with people? Ugh! I'm sorry you had to deal w/that. 🙁
Dear Gigi, I wish I had time to post, because I've been thinking about this topic lately. DH is out of town so I will try to add to the discussion tonight. Hugs and love your blog!
Gigi, You are suffering normal inadequacy feelings after the momentous birth of a child. How HR dept's decided woman are"recovered" after 6 weeks, i don't know. if you are nursing, you are low in estrogen now and that will come back. Every hair you did not lose in pregnancy ( they all freeze in telophase)falls out at 4-6 months. Then returns to normal. Skin as well is very sensitive to estrogen. Rib cage is still shrinking and that may not return to prepregnancy diameter. So physical changes are still occurring to say nothing of the emotional ones of a new role. Hard! I'm sure you are doing "enough" in your life!
Posts like these are why I enjoy reading your blog…I admire your authenticity. I follow (or should I say, just look at the photos) in a lot of blogs but read very few. I find the too-perfect bloggers to be boring, but worse, I think, are those that share some well-chosen "flaws" but who really want you to think their life is peachy. I think it's very hard to be yourself AND be compelling in a blog but you do a terrific job.
I think you are doing beautifully. And I believe your daughter is lucky to have you as a Mom. A suggestion to give you a boost: if you can find a reiki practitioner near you, reiki brings healing energy into the body and helps you to feel wonderful. I am a reiki master myself – East coast – and know from personal experience how much it does to help you heal physically and emotionally. It sounds to me like you just need a little support. All the best.
Hi Gigi,
Even though I follow your blog regularly, I seldom comment, but this post just made me.
I've been thinking about a lot of what you said myself, especially comparing yourself to others (especially blogs) and always getting comments that I'm overdressed. I struggle with body image issues as many other women do, and often feel deflated after reading or seeing many other fashion blogs. I either feel that I can never be skinny enough to look that good, and then that makes me feel that my body, clothing, etc are inadequate. This then drives me to shop to compensate and try to find the perfect item, whatever it is, to try to get to be that person, and it never helps. I agree that we don't see a blogger's full life, and I thank you for reminding me of that. I hope this will keep my feelings in check.
As far as being overdressed, most of that for me stems from the fact that I feel better, and I think it flatters my figure more, when I dress up. However, I work from home most days, so "dressing up" isn't always conducive or necessary for me on a daily basis. I find myself now wearing sweats/yoga pants on most days, and throwing in leggings every now and then. Since I've been working from home for last 4 years or so and dressing as such, I've felt more and more blah. I try to dress up when I can, which usually means any time I leave the house. So, based on my natural liking to be dressed up and the need for me to dress up to compensate for my working from home attire, I wind being overdressed or at least being in some senses scolded from other women (and some men in some cases)for being overdressed in their opinion, but necessarily in my own. This feeling of being overdressed, and made out to be a bad guy for it, came when my working from home coincided with when I moved to the area where my husband grew up when we got married. I moved from a very big city environment (Boston then DC) to a very suburban environment and at times rural. I do feel like I don't fit in often, but as someone else commented, I am choosing not fit in but more so to dress for myself. Sometimes, it gets me so irritated to hear comments from these people. And, it's not like I'm dressed to the 9s or anything, just wearing heels. And 3 inch sensible ones at that. Why is this such a crime? I know most often when people make comments like this it's because they are jealous or envious, or are feeling inadequate about themselves and probably comparing themselves to me. Ironic, how it comes full circle? Just as much as I do not know all of what's going on in a blogger's head or life, as these other people don't know what's going on in mine. Why begrudge someone of doing something that makes them happy? Life's too short…
On a final note, and directed more towards you and less about me (LOL), I love your blog and your honesty, and especially so when I see these posts. Further (and this is the first time I'm saying this so publicly, especially because no one really knows *me* in bloggie land), I just found out that I am pregnant with my first one YESTERDAY!!! I'm super excited, but terrified at the same time (some family history/genetics stuff in addition to usual 1st time mom stuff). Coming from someone who does not yet have a little one to care for, I think you are doing very well, and have offered much insight and help to me, especially on your baby journey. In fact, I was just going on to your blogs today to (once again) read your earlier posts on your pregnancy journey and refresh myself with some of your tips. So, please, don't be too hard on yourself, and just know that everything you do means the world to many (including me).
Congrats!!!!
That's wonderful! Congratulations. 🙂
love2shop4bags: That is such exciting news! Congratulations! 🙂
Congrats, what wonderful news! A Crewlade-drinker-in-the-making! 😉
Crazily enough–as a former HIGH COMPETITION person–sports/school etc.,–since doing YOGA–are you surpised I'm saying this–haha–for the past 13 years–well–I have such a calm core, center, mindset that is truly NON COMPETITIVE–like me, love me, or don't–it's all good with me. So I will say what I've been saying all along on my Blog–"Yoga will help you find your true self–your best self–which will hold steadfast in any situation life imposes on you"–my quote–thereforein my way of thinking it is worth a Person's attention and energy–it's freeing, liberating, noncompetitive and noncomparing feeling is such a beneficial way for a person to flourish in life.
ohh–and just the afterthoughts–technology–the computer/iphone and being able to click here click there–is just ADD and Anxiety invoking. There's such a lack of real human contact–it's not good in that way. I always tell the YOUNG MEN I work with–"put the cell phone down–and look up and make eye contact!!!" Men who already have trouble socializing use t he cell phone as a security blanket and now they lose all sense of relating to others…point in case that I'm trying to make–blogging is fun–but maybe stepping back and turning off the computer and connecting or reading instead of click click clicking our way through life is much more calming. Just my thoughts for today! HOLLA!
ITA. I can't bear the iPhone culture. I have one, yes, but my face is not stuck to it 24/7 like so many people. I make a conscious decision to switch it off and put it away. I am just not that important that anyone would need to each me at any time, lmao.
Gigi-I love reading your blog and the fact that you are so open is refreshing.
First off the KS pullover is darling. I have a Trina Turk faux fur pullover from fall 2010 and have worn it exactly 3 times, but you know what, I'm fine with that. I never thought I'd wear it 10 or 20 times a year. It is a higher cost per wear item, but I love it, it makes me happy and my DH rolls his eyes when I wear it-making me love it all even more. I enjoy dressing up and DH is v-e-r-y casual-and this is just how we roll.
It is absolutely time for you to get a consultation from a new stylist. A bad hair cut is enough to push most of us over the edge. I also think you might benefit from a facial with at a great spa who can recommend some product for your new skin. I noticed big changes when I went off of the prenatal vitamins which might be something you are experiencing too. My dry sensitive skin has gotten dryer with age. I started using a lot of products by Fresh and have found them to be fab. (Their boutique in SF across from the Big Banana is great and they happily give samples and tons of great advice.)
Hang in there Gigi. Today is blah, tomorrow will be better.
We are in exactly the same boat except its my 3rd, I haven't lost the weight yet (easy with the first two but does not want to come off this time!), and I did not get that fabulous fur pullover (go ahead and rock it!). Ajc is so right – have to decide whether to beat them or join them. I vacillate. I'd like to think I have enough confidence to just wear what I want but it's just awkward to have other moms comment in how "nice" and "dressed up" you look, even if they mean it as a compliment. I don't know, I don't have any answers. But I do think it will help to breathe, get a new stylist (inky one bad haircut and you have to cut the ties)
Sigh. Blogger doesn't Ike me – when I try to edit a comment it just freezes. So I meant *only* bad haircut… And everything gets better one day at a time. It really does. But it's a huge adjustment in the meanwhile.
And you look hawt
Gigi, I honestly think that you are feeling the way you are feeling BECAUSE of the KS fur (not exclusively of course but it is probably the last straw). I don't want to analyze you but I can recognize myself in the fantasy shopping type. I think that on some level you agree with your husband description but you want to justify the impulsive purchase and this internal fight is weighing you down. Get rid of it, if you can't wear it tomorrow it means that you bought it for your avatar (the one who is shopping in NY and not pushing a stroller in SoCal). If you used your Amex you can return it under the return protection policy; otherwise sell it while is hot (everybody saw it on AP and I bet that someone would buy it from you in a heartbeat). I hope it's clear that I am not saying that you don't look good in it, I just think it's not good for you mentally. Ok, you made an impulsive purchase because you weren't feeling good, it happens but let's not hang onto it, don't make it remind you everyday that you are THAT person who was feeling sorry for herself.
I am pushing a little bit to make my point, I hope you don't mind me being honest, I have been there… I love when you get personal, BTW.
Gigi: Thanks SO much for this post. I can totally relate to much of what you've said here. You look GREAT. As others have said, I really appreciate your honesty and the great conversation you've started here.
Hey Gigi –
Love this post and can relate to it on so many levels. Have been closet cleaning and realizing that I have so many precious clothes that I keep on waiting to wear until my butt looks like it did at 25 (ha ha) or my boobs stop swelling up every month (double ha ha). And yes I also have the dreaded dress up too much you will be ostracized mommy thing – makes me long to live in NYC again. Mommy/work/fashion/homemaker balance is TRICKY. I have been really struggling with it as late as well. I'm not sure you can ever have it all together but I will say that the more I take care of myself – emotionally/physically – the better I feel about all of it. Baby steps. Right now my baby step is adding vegetables to lunch. My daughter and I have been sharing different types of crudite with dip with our usual lunch offerings. Hey, it's not going to solve the oil crisis but it makes me feel like I'm doing something good for her and for me. Not bad.
I think you are fabulous and I can't even imagine keeping with up all the blogging you do (my God how do you catalogue all the JC stuff and IRL photos!)!
and P.S. Bad haircuts just freakin' suck.
Hi Gigi,
I often read your blog but haven't commented before. I think it's amazing how honest you have been and hopefully putting your feelings down has helped. I have a 3 month old so I understand the effects after pregnancy (ie skin etc.). You look awesome and I think you're accomplishing a lot between caring for mini G, this blog and everything else you do.
I too have bought many things especially JCrew based on a sort of fantasy life of how I'd wear them or because of the catalogue which gets me everytime.:) I think many women do this. I often use retail therapy to feel better and I bought so much JCrew at the end of my pregnancy even though I wasn't totally sure the items would fit after pregnancy but I think it was the hormones. (At least the JCA blog helped with sizing etc. :))I guess we could do worse than shop.
I understand comparing our lives to others but as you said we never know what's going on in others lives. And there are so many people on the opposite side who have very difficult, terrible things going on so I think it helps to try to focus on our own blessings.
Some advice that I've received is to do nice things for yourself and know you deserve it. Especially as a mom, take time for yourself so you still feel like 'you'. Focus on the good stuff because it can make you forget about the negative things.
G –
Thanks for sharing with us. I struggled with a lot of the same issues after the birth of my own baby, and trust me it took a good year for me to feel like myself again. Its nice to know there are women out there like you that admit to not being perfect, unlike a lot of what we see on other blogs. I myself just realized I got myself into a lot of trouble financially trying to keep up with everybody else. We need to focus on what's really important and not so much the material things. Thanks again for sharing – I enjoyed venting with you!
Gigi, please don't be so tough on yourself. How many months/years did your body go through changes in order to conceive/carry/deliver this child? Of course it will take longer than you want for you to feel like you again, and the progress will not be a consistent straight line. I love the way you share and and I love your indomitable spirit!
Gigi,
I admire you and your courage to expose your real self on your blog. The issues you raise matter as much as any other news because so many women walk around with feelings of inadequacy and lack of confidence when they absolutely don't need to. Any time we discuss these issues it helps us progess beyond them.
I was a total type A person for the early part of my life. I always had to do everything, do it perfectly and be the star. Went to law school, was on Law Review, clerked for a judge, worked at the big law firm. But when I was about 32 or so (I am 45 now), I realized that none of this was making me happy. I looked at the other women in the law firm and wondered why they would choose to do all that work and be away from their families so much. (I was single.) And then I realized that they had something to prove. They had to prove that they could do it, not only be right in there with the men, but they also had to compete with the other women.
And that's when I realized that I had nothing to prove to people who were not dear to me. Yes, I greatly value the opinions of those I love. But everyone else? They can think what they want. Shrug. I changed jobs and made other changes in my life and I was much happier and way more grounded.
So I'm not really swayed by blogs or celebrity. In an era where everything is photoshopped, blogs show you a carefully orchestrated vision of what they want you to think. Just like celebrities and politicians. None of it is real. So while I enjoy seeing what they wear, cook, etc, I have no need to be them. I'm me. I know I have my sh*t together and I'm fine with me.
After I moved to a college town, got married and had kids, I realized I needed to make a conscious effort to shop for my life. I force myself to think where I would wear something. That's just me. But in some ways it just pushes my shopping in other directions, just more casual ones. So I've never bought a sequined top, even though I've looked at them a million times. But five pairs of work out shorts? Check. I still need to curb my shopping and my need out of boredom to have something new.
With regard to the dress up issue, now that my child is in school I interact with a lot of stay at home moms. I feel a bit of animosity when I am dressed for work and they are in ratty jeans/tshirts/sweats. And we're way past the age where baby might spit up or pee on you. So it really doesn't end, unfortunately.
Whether you keep the fur shirt or not, be happy with your decision and use it to mark an epiphony in your life. It appears you have had one!
Gigi, this was such a great post: honest and spot-on and entertaining. Just like all your posts. I totally relate to so much of what you're saying. The first year with baby is so very hard. So be good to yourself and take even just a little time to go for a walk or get a pedi. Physically, I was a mess too, so you're not alone there! And a bad haircut, that's just the icing on the cake, isn't it? Definitely go to a new stylist stat. As for the part about being overdressed for other moms, that's totally me. All.the.time. If I'm not in workout clothes, I'm pretty much called out for being dressed up. At first it was pretty annoying, but now I just shrug and say thanks and move on. I feel better when I'm wearing something cute and that's how I roll, so forget those haters.
Hey Gigi, I love how your opening up in this post has cleared the way for everyone else's true confessions. I mean, I don't have a tiny little baby to care for (nor the body care to recover your sense of self after) and yet I have a million gross dirty dishes in the sink, haven't replied to the considered comments that kind folks like you left on my once-a-week post from a week ago, and my overweight cat is crying for a clean water bowl! Oh, and I have so many guilt/stress purchases rolling in (that's what happens when I consciously cut back- all hell breaks loose!). Gee- maybe I should do those dishes at least…
Anyway, I think the coat is super cute (something about the bracelet sleeves), and a bad haircut is pretty rough on the self-esteem, and you know perfect is boring!!
Gigi,
I understand where you're coming from. I too had a baby this year and he was so big (11 pounds) that I developed a hernia that I had to have surgically repaired two days ago. I'm no where near my pre-baby weight and being a mom is not going as smoothly as I had hoped. Oh and this baby is a post loss baby so I'm constantly being told that I should be sooooo happy all the time. I am happy but OMG I can have a bad day or two. I feel like that's ok. Well that felt good to "say".
*hug*
We have all had these periods in our life, whether for a minute or a month or year. I think all emotions are amplified when you have a new baby, for at least the first year. I can relate to everything you said. I don't have any words of wisdom, really, other than 'you are not alone.' That doesn't sound very wise, but it's true. I sometimes have thoughts about what about me was 'better' pre-baby, and my 'baby' is 6 🙂 Why do we judge ourselves so harshly? Why do I eye other moms in the pick-up line, mentally wondering if I measure up? Not sure (if you figure it out, please share :)). But know that you are always enough, and more, to those that matter in your life. That is what gets me through the cloudy days… Cheers to you and yours!
Gigi, I love the fur! I live in NYC andi would feel "dressed up" wearing it in a really good way! Own it! It's a classic piece that will never be "out"
I am among the group of women who find this perfectly timed. My baby is now three days old and I am smitten and so in love but doesn't mean I don't have a lot of anxiety about what's to come. I feel tremendous pressure to get back to my pre preg weight. Everyone knows I'm a runner and I can't tell you how many times I have heard " oh you will lose the weight, you were so small, you don't have to worry" and on and on and on. But what if I don't lose the weight, will that be ok too? I am taking a year pluss off of work and I'm terrified I'll become a home bound mom who wears slippers to the store. I'm also worried I won't meet other mom friends And my baby will be bored of me in 3 months. So what I'm getting at is that while I feel euphoric right now I'm worried it will end. I know I'll have bad days and good days but I'm still right there with you on the balance of it all and being not just good, but great.
Hey Gigi,
I can relate to everything you are going through, having experienced it myself at one point or another. The first year of your baby's life is definitely one of the most difficult, and the feelings you are experiencing are quite normal. Be sure to get some exercise each day, (it doesn't have to be a lot, just 20 minutes will do) as it really does help to lift your mood and get you out of any slumps you may be experiencing. Take Mini G. for a stroll around your neighborhood each day. It will be good for both of you to get out and breathe some fresh air. 🙂
As for being overdressed: I have been overdressing since the time a was a little girl. In fact, knowing my mother, it is probably safe to say that I have been overdressed since the day I was born. It is part of who I am, and what makes me, me…just like it makes every other woman who does it part of who she is. 🙂 It used to bother me to be dressed up more than other people, but now I just don't let it. Besides, I say that we are the ones actually dressed appropriately, and everyone else is simply underdressed (society as a whole seems to be way too casual these days when it comes to their appearance, IMO). I have tried on occasion to dress 'down', but I just do not feel like 'me' when I do. Over time friends, family, and other people I interact with have come to accept that it is part of who I am, and now I rarely get comments about it. Instead, I usually receive compliments and have even noticed that other moms put a little more thought into the way they dress now, too. I say that you should stay true to yourself and your own personal style. Don't let the opinions of others change who you are. Perhaps there are other moms where you live that would like to dress up a little bit more (but don't since they would feel out of place), and just need someone like you to inspire them to do so. You are a beautiful woman with a great sense of style, Gigi…just be yourself! .:)
"Comparison is the thief of joy"…isn't that the truth! I know from personal experience that it can be very easy to let yourself feel inadequate or unhappy with your own life when you see how seemingly wonderful others 'perceived' lives are. I grew up in a home that my mother kept so immaculate that it could have easily been featured in a magazine, so I even compare myself to her sometimes, and guess what…I never live up. As much as I would love my home to be like that on a daily basis, it simply isn’t. My mother only had my sister and me to clean up after. I have four very energetic boys who track dirt into my house constantly, do not find it necessary at all to put their dirty clothes in the hamper (choosing instead to leave them lying on their bedroom floor), and eat constantly so that there always seems to be dirty dishes in my sink, plus one of them is a special needs child who requires extra attention, and I homeschool the three oldest. My life is often crazy and hectic, but I try to enjoy it as much I can. When I start comparing to others, it makes me unappreciative of the things I DO have and robs me of all the joy in my life. That is why I try to focus more on the positive and less on the negative. I also try to remind myself that absolutely no one has a perfect life, and that every person is struggling with some sort of issue or problem on a daily basis.
You are a very special lady, Gigi…always remember that! I’m sending big hugs your way! 🙂
P.S. I think the KS Faux-fur pullover looks beautiful on you!
Gigi-
I don’t often comment, but so much of what you said resonated with me.. As to the baby, self-image, and mental state you are doing just fine. I struggled with the same issues after having Child. I used a mid-wife and a doula for the birth and their approach was much more holistic, looking at caring for the mind and body of both the baby and the mother long after the actual delivery, and something they said really stuck with me. They told me it may only take 9 months to grow and develop a baby, but it takes double that for the mother to recover both mentally and physically. I think that’s why even in traditional medicine they recommend waiting at least a year between children. It takes at least that long for the mother’s body to recover all the nutrients the baby depleted. Until that time things are bound to be out of whack as your body tries to repair itself physically and emotionally. I don’t think I really felt like ‘myself’ physically or mentally until child was almost 2! And your only 6 months out! Give yourself time.
And as to comparisons with other blogs—yeah, I hear ya. I do that too. I used to do it more. But I try remind myself most of what I read is a little like false advertizing. Not necessarily on purpose, but false nonetheless. It took me having a blog of my own to realize it though. I’d read all these lovely blogs with perfect photos and perfect outfits in perfect lives and feel envious. But I realized that’s just window dressing. You put the best you have out there in the front of the store to draw people in. But that’s not to say there isn’t a ratty old clearance rack in the back. I think that’s what blogs are like sometimes. Window dressing in the front, for the come-and-go reader. But at least for me with bloggers I’ve stuck with, eventually the clearance rack in the back comes out. And that’s fine. I do it. I’m sure we all do it to some extent. Who doesn’t tweak a photo to add more flattering light or put on heels for the OOTD shot and then change back into flats for ‘real life’ once the heels start to hurt after an hour? Now I read those blogs reminding myself that much of what I see is just window dressing. Pretty and alluring, to draw the readers in. If it continues to always be window dressing day after day, I usually move on. I like the clearance section. That’s where the good deals are.
My last though (I must be making up for not commenting often!) is to mention of all the blogs I read, yours is one I respect the most because it is so real. You say it like it is. I relate and would listen to that real voice more than all the fluffy photo-shopped window-dressing anyway.
Gigi, I will echo all the above comments about being so appreciative for your insightful and very entertaining writing. I have no secret solutions to share, unfortunately, but you are so good and proactive at identifying and addressing your issues that I am sure you will always end up at good solutions.
One thing about having children is that it does take a toll on your body, and I have used that absolute fact to have lower expectations of my body. My belly will never ever be as tight as it was pre-kids, yet I think I probably complain about it less now than I did before. My hands, almost 10 years after birth of baby number 1, are still so horribly dry and wrinkly, because my littlest is still in kindergarten and I still wash my hands, literally, at least 50 times a day. I can't even wear my wedding rings (or any other rinns) b/c I end up with rashes from soap residue under them and manicures will not even last a day. Oh well, one less accessory for me to spend money on and short bare nails are quite the time saver.
I LOVE that "can you wear it on tuesday?" comment. It's brilliant. Dress for what makes sense for your life, and who cares what other people think, right? And I think I will try to adopt that as a life approach — make good decisions about what makes sense for my life, and that will be the best that I can do. You see, Gigi, how helpful you are? You've given me a new motto to live by!
You are so funny, so smart, so level headed. Take care of yourself, we all need you!
I have to agree with the other fabulous posts here – I love to read your blog BECAUSE it's real. Sure I subscribe to fancy fashion blogs that are from people in the industry, but the content that really resonates with me is seeing real people and hearing their thoughts.
Even if it's a post about a coupon code, I'm generally excited because it's real – hey I found a deal and if you want it, awesome. That's what real people do.
As for the coat/top, I love it! Please do wear it on a Tuesday – if you liked it enough to buy it, go for it! Also, I agree, the 6pm snapshot looks horrible! Good to know it doesn't look like that IRL.
Bottom line, real life > internet life. Even if it's a little less glamorous. We all put pants on one leg at a time.
…Lauren
Related to body image, I have these great jeans to recommend. Jag Jeans has this new style -that will unfortunately remind you all of maternity jeans – but I love them and now own four pairs! I got them at Nordstrom in the petite dept. They are pull on with a wide band on top. I have both skinny and straight leg styles in different washes. No muffin top and shirts lay smoothly over and very comfortable. I am so in the camp these days of feeling better about myself if I am comfortable in my clothes and seeking out new options instead of trying to fit into stuff that really doesn't fit anymore.
Gigi – I always find if I question a piece of clothing too much, it's the very piece I rarely wear and wish I hadn't spent the money on it and I'm learning when questioning, it's going back to the store. Don't be too hard on yourself with your body changes and having a 6 month old. It takes awhile to get back to 'normal' and now that you have a child, you will also find a new normal. I like the advice to take some power walks if you don't have time for regular exercise. Or join a boot camp class. I'm an aerobics/strength training instructor "on the side" and studies have shown short intense workouts are making a difference in women's bodies. We moms are good at being hard on ourselves….give yourself a break. 🙂
This pullover is a really special piece, and I think you'll get a good amount of use out of it (even if you have to put it away for the next few months). And hey, if you find it languishing in your closet, just give me a ring…
I can relate to a lot of the feelings you mention here. None of us have it all put together. I read a few lifestyle blogs and often get frustrated either with how perfect they make everything seem, or else the one post a month that acknowledges that the perfect thing they were talking about earlier actually came with a whole host of issues that they hadn't seen fit to mention before. Where is the balance?
Gigi : you keep that fur and wear it to fill the car with gas on a Tuesday!
I think it has a casual feel to it – a glam casual feel but you can absolutely get loads of wear out of it. I don't know what's bringing you down per se but I too love your blog because you're real. I've had a total meltdown on my holiday, I'm feeling a bit better now but my self esteem is constantly in the gutter.
Email me anytime. And I have a bigger tum than you and no baby to show for it, I hate it.
Mad unhinged Tabitha.
Super late to this party, and so much good stuff has been shared here!
Just wanted to add this it's so easy to make oneself and one's life look perfect on blogs and especially on Facebook. Never, ever forget for a moment that most people spend time very carefully curating their online presence. We rarely see or hear about anything crappy or negative. And that is NOT how life is.
Chin up, darlin'. I think there are a lucky few out there who DO have perfect lives — they never lose their temper, they have babies who never cry, endless funds to buy whatever their hearts desire, supportive and helpful spouses who do their share of the domestic and child-care situations … wait, what was my point? LOL … .
Point is, most of the rest of us are just trying to keep our heads above water for 6 days out of every 7. I always keep in the back of my mind that we only know as much as people choose to reveal. But I totally understand how you are feeling, and I frequently feel that way myself.
Re: your question about clothes, yes, people do frequently remark on my outfits and/or clothes. Clothes are my hobby, so I just take it in stride. But I have had people say things like, "Hey! So you DO own some 'regular clothes' " (upon bumping into me in the supermarket on a weekend, or "Heyyy, look at you in a t-shirt, jeans, a hat AND sneakers! I only ever get to see you all dressed up!" <— my husband, who for some odd reason is delighted when I totally scrub out, as I am wont to do on rainy weekends.
But I always wear what I like, and sometimes I just dress according to my mood, to who I feel like being that day. I dress for myself and no one else. Even when people think what I have on is weird (sequins for a workday, the Ashbury floral perfect shirt, LOL), I couldn't care less because I don't wear it for them!
If I knew y'all IRL, I would happily pull up my shirt and show you my poochy belly, dark circles, oily skin and orange-peel thighs, LOL! Because we're all in this together.
I'm happy I can share a sliver of life with you and the many others I have met through your blog community.
Hey Gigi! What a tough post for a tough topic, but one that women often experience.
I have 3 boys and have just recently decided to wear clothes I like. Sounds ridiculous since I've obviously been getting dressed these past seven years… If I like clothes and fashion why not be true to that? If my two year old wipes his snotty nose all over my new silk Blythe shirt, well, I'll go figure out how to clean it. Pretty clothes are fun.
I want to include this article that I read a few months back about the mothering. It's from the Catholic Register (please don't let that scare you as there is no religion in it…) but I think it is one of the truest articles I have ever read about the change from woman to mother.
http://www.ncregister.com/blog/to-the-mother-with-only-one-child
I think that as new (and old) parents we become more isolated at a time when we need more interaction and support. There is a pervasive sense that women *know* intrinsically how to parent perfectly and need not the experience of other mothers to guide us. I find that the opposite is true but finding those mothers that inspire whether it's irl or online is difficult.
My thoughts and well wishes with you as you find your way. Be strengthened by the support you find here.
I know that this comment is very belated!! I just stumbled upon your blog BECAUSE of the Kate Spade faux fur pullover. I actually purchased it during the same sample sale that you did. While I have only worn it anywhere once (when I lived in Washington state, it was cold until July!), I regularly wear it in my home when relaxing… It's completely ridiculous but I LOVE that pullover and can't wait to wear it in public when the weather gets cool (now living in D.C.). I think of wearing it the same way that I think about champagne: I keep it nearby for those celebrations of life and for those times when I need to create celebration. I hope you grow to love your pullover as much as I do!!
HI! I absolutely love the blog and your style! Question…would you be willing to sell your Kate Spade Victoria faux fur pullover?
Hi Andrea — It was final sale and I knew it didn't look good, so I sold it. Check Ebay & other resale sites if you haven't, already. Good luck!